Top 5 Wednesday: Favorite Fantasy Creatures

It is I, P$, and i come to you today to list my 

*airhorns**drakevoice*TOP 5 TOP 5 TOP 5 */airhorns**/drakevoice*

Sci-Fi/Fantasy creatures in no particular order. Not all these creatures are bad guys, but all of em will kill the brakes off you. Beware.

1. Pennywise the clown.

The physical manifestation of, like, all the evil in the universe, pennywise was the shapeshifting manically torturous bad guy in Steven King’s It. He read minds and and smells fear and cackles at your puny pleas before guzzling your life force (and bile,probably). Ever since he snatched Georgie’s arm off on that rainy night and left some goddam balloons, I’ve been shooketh. The Derry kids that took him down had some real moxie but they went tf THROUGH it, and I’m glad, for that and many other reasons, that i didn’t grow up in Maine. I’m not even clown-averse, but Pennywise can gtfo.

2. The vord, the canim, and the Marat are all creatures from Jim Butcher’s Codex Alera.

Those first, the vord are all-timer bad guys to me. Part zombie (so good luck killing your reanimated  wife and kids) part mutant (so Godspeed with the half human half horse pain-impervious scythes for arms bloke bearing down on you), and under the instantaneous psychic control of their uberfast, bulletproof queen, they do some DAMAGE to Alera. What’s worst: the queen, their wasp-like, dead-eyed general, is brilliant. She learns from humans, steals our tactics, perverts them to suit her world-eating devices. No one knows from whence the vord came. They are ancient, and rumored to be planet- hoppers. They are evil. Fortunately, they are flawed. 

The latter two were frenemies of the the people of Alera until Tavi, befriended/banged them into submission. The Canim are giant dog-people, with hella nonverbal communication and an ideology of deep “fuck with me and I’ll rip out your entrails” respect. They are exceedingly clever and oh yeah they’re 8 foot bipedal canines with swords, NBD. The Marat, all their tribes, are humaninsh, but have a particular connection with certain totems, or partner animals, whose attributes (swiftness, strength, a whole gang of ass) they take on. Kitai is Marat. 

Hm. Kitai. 

What was I saying?

3. The Basilisk a classic scary from my childhood.

the basilisk from Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone, was just creepy. Living in the walls, whispering surprise sweet nothings to unknowing parsletongue Harry, petrifying girls I had a literary crush on, over and over, regurgitating Christopher Walken… wait I think I’m conflating the basilisk with the anaconda from ice cube/jlo’s anaconda. Still. That mf was scary 

4. Nazgul.

It wasn’t just the shrieking. It wasn’t just the bony ass fingers and, like, grim reaper face. It wasn’t their position as fallen Kings of men, enslaved by Sauron. It was the confluence of those features and the nazgul’s dogged pursuit of my good men Frodo’nem that made them so horrible. Plus in the LOTR games, they were a FORCE to be reckoned with. *mashes triangle*

5. The night king.

the night king

The night king is a cheat code. He does everything better than everyone else in GRR Martin’s world. He has an ever growing army of the undead at his disposal. He hijacked a dragon. His goatee is hella fresh. I don’t know how the living will fare in this battle against him (esp since GRRM hasn’t finished the series yet….) but I know the icy bastard has a few surprise snowballs left for us. I shake in my veritable boots.

i know there are other creatures I’m forgetting/undervaluing. Who are your faves/fears?? Drop a comment and tell me why I’m wrong.


Top 5 Wednesday is a meme moderated by Sam from Thoughts on Tomes!

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