DRUNK REVIEW: A Golden Fury by Samantha Cohoe

 

A Golden Fury by Samantha Cohoe

**We received an advanced copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. We’d like to thank Samantha and Wednesday Books for the opportunity. This book came out on October 13th and you can get it here or at your local independent bookstore**

Reviewed by Sam!

What I drank prior: I’ve had about 3/4 a bottle of wine. This week has been hot garbage at work. It wasn’t supposed to be but it has been.

Goodreads Overview:

Thea Hope longs to be an alchemist out of the shadow of her famous mother. The two of them are close to creating the legendary Philosopher’s Stone—whose properties include immortality and can turn any metal into gold—but just when the promise of the Stone’s riches is in their grasp, Thea’s mother destroys the Stone in a sudden fit of violent madness.

While combing through her mother’s notes, Thea learns that there’s a curse on the Stone that causes anyone who tries to make it to lose their sanity. With the threat of the French Revolution looming, Thea is sent to Oxford for her safety, to live with the father who doesn’t know she exists.

But in Oxford, there are alchemists after the Stone who don’t believe Thea’s warning about the curse—instead, they’ll stop at nothing to steal Thea’s knowledge of how to create the Stone. But Thea can only run for so long, and soon she will have to choose: create the Stone and sacrifice her sanity, or let the people she loves die.

Drunk Overview: So this is a book about alchemy… yes… the ones that were tryin gto create the philosopher’s stone. Thea is her mother’s apprentice and sthey are so so close. Thea translates some bit about the philosopher’s curse and like.. no one takes that seriously and that’s clearly a mistake. When her mom goes nuts and almost kills her, she goes to find her astranged father who has no idea he is a fatehr. He’s also an alchemist. Wait! I forgot about the boys. She was already in love with this guy Will, and then when she’s visiting dad, he’s got this apprentice, Dominic. You can imagine that part. And…. idk i’m a bit lost myself.

Spoiler-free Thoughts: I was fine with this while reading it but I’m so so bored writing this review.

Characters: ok so, there are a few characters in this i’d like to discuss. The first is the main character, Thea. She is SO stereoptypical. “not like other girsl” a chose one of sorts, has two dude she loves. I was quite annoyed. Then there’s Will, what a fucking douchebag he can burn in the fiery pits of hell. Then there’s Dominic who is my son and I will protect him at all costs, but he also actually needs protection. He’ll break at the first sign of danger. Thea’s parents are both steaming piles of shit. There is ONE redeeming character. His name is Valentin and if you make it far enough to meet him you’ll know exactly why.

Plot: Honestly… ok let me see if I can sum this up. We start in France where it’s not cool to be anything other than French. We go to England and then we go… somewhere else… another country but i literally can’t remember. The plot was predictable and super duper boring. I’m not usually this harsh but like… yo. I even have a note that says this book is stupid fast but SO MUCH HAPPENED but NOTHING HAPPENED. You know?!

World Building: this part didn’t suck so much but i really wish that everything else didn’t suck,

What to pair it with: Vodka Cran. Super standard.

Rating: 2/5

Until next time, we remain forever drunkenly yours,
Sam

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