DRUNK REVIEW: If the Slipper Fits by Elaine Fox

If the Slipper Fits by Elaine Fox

Reviewed by GGGinny

What I drank: Champagne. I wanted something bubbly and Sam said I should…

Goodreads Overview:

Disarming Prince Charming

Anne Sayer learned long ago that fairy tales don’t come true. Connor Emory was the “prince” of a rich and powerful family and she was the “hired help,” and for one glorious Maine summer, it was heaven. But evil stepmothers do exist, so Anne’s “happily-ever-after”—wasn’t.

Dashing, charismatic, and successful, Connor never understood what happened all those years ago, but he’s sure now it was for the best. As the reigning heir to the family estate, he returns to Candlewick Island for one reason only: to sell the cursed castle where his heart was broken and dismiss from his life the woman responsible. But Anne, now more beautiful and confident than ever, no longer fits his memory—and Connor is intrigued. But enough so to risk his heart again?

A long way from the girl she had been, Anne knows what she wants. Armed with a scheme to save the estate, and aided by a houseful of eccentric cohorts, this “Cinderella” intends to win back her prince. Because the glass slipper that would never have fit a decade ago is the perfect size now…

Drunk Overview: You know those books where you go into it, and you’re like, this book could either be really good or really bad and then it’s like halfway there and then something happens and you’re like “Oh FUCK NO.” Yeah, this is that… So Anne and Connor broke up when they were 19 for dumb reasons, and they’re meeting after 11 years. Anne thinks she and Connor can get back together while Connor just wants to sell the family home and GTFO

Drunk Thoughts: Legit, this book was a traffic crash waiting to happen.

  • Anne is like the definition of toxic ex
  • Even though she’s the one who broke up with Connor (again, for ridiculous reasons), she keeps trying to trap him into admitting that he’s still into her and keeps getting insulted by the fact that he wants to keep a professional relationship, because, oh yeah, he’s her boss….
  • Also, a big deal is made about her having a side business, but it clearly isn’t very busy considering SHE ONLY WORKS ON IT FOR ONE PARTY FOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING SUMMER!!!!
  • Okay, so Connor is also a mess. He’s clearly still broken-hearted about the fact that he got dumped. And thinks that Anne is a washed up sex-fiend or something, so keeps trying to talk her into only a physical relationship.
  • But also the side characters also aren’t enjoyable
  • There are two random cousins, who are also treated as love interests (for Connor who is technically only their ex-cousin as his uncle married into and then divorced out of the family)
  • Plus the uncle who everyone claims is “so charming” because if they didn’t claim it the character would just be a pain in the ass.
  • Plus the entire plot suffers from a “could have been an email”/”solved with a simple conversation” thing.
  • Spoiler alert, Anne was forced into breaking up with Connor because his father ASSAULTED her and his father and step-mother blackmailed Anne into it.
  • Legit, that was the moment where it went from a hate-read to a rage read.
  • I can deal with dumb misunderstandings and mutually shitty people being mutually shitty to each other, but the moment a victim of sexual assault is blamed for being assaulted by a man more than 30 years her senior, I am fucking LIVID.
  • So… the plot is politely, a cluster fuck (I’m judging Nora Roberts for blurbing the book with “Fresh and Vibrant”), but so is everything about the book.
  • The setting is so bland “small town in the middle of fucking nowhere,” that without being reminded this was a vacation town, and the constant notes about the smell of the ocean, the location doesn’t seem to matter much
  • There’s a sub-plot about all of Anne’s employees at this fancy house losing their job but let’s be honest, that’s a decent subplot for pretty much anywhere in the world).
  • There was almost 0 local flavor too…
  • I’ve already mentioned my issues with the cast of characters, but the locals were no better. You have, like, two town gossips, the people who work at the house (all of whom seem to be unnecessarily weird), and the grandmother (who is kind of hinted at to be abusive even when she was “fighting for her granddaughter”).
  • Really I just found this book really frustrating as parts of it held promise but literally nothing felt like it followed through.
  • Don’t even get me started on the ending (this book fell into the trap of needing everything to wrap up in a perfect bow – leading to situations where someone gifted someone a $3million home!!!!????)
  • Again, this book was so frustrating because there was no one to root for. The two main characters were quiet sociopaths, the step-mother was a literal caricature of an evil disney step-mother, the setting had literally no importance on the actual story, and – I didn’t realize I hadn’t already mentioned this – the use of Italian was PAINFUL at best…

What it Pairs With: Pickleback, you need something to wash the taste of this book from your mind.

Rating: 1.5/5 shots

3 thoughts on “DRUNK REVIEW: If the Slipper Fits by Elaine Fox

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