That Thing Called Love by Susan Anderson

Reviewed by GGGinny

What I drank: I hung out with my neighbors and drank some lovely white win with a cheeseboard and some card games. It was a wonderful night!

Goodreads Overview:

He’s the last man on earth she should want…

For a guy she’s fantasized about throttling, Jake Bradshaw sure is easy on the eyes. In fact, he seriously tempts inn manager Jenny Salazar to put her hands to better use. Except this is the guy who left Razor Bay—and his young son, Austin, who Jenny adores like her own—to become a globetrotting photojournalist. He can’t just waltz back and claim Austin now.

Jake was little more than a kid himself when he became a dad. Sure, he’d dreamed of escaping the resort town, but he’d also truly believed that Austin was better off with his grandparents. Now he wants—no, needs—to make up for his mistake. He intends to stay in Razor Bay only until he can convince Austin to return with him to New York. Trouble is, with sexy, protective, utterly irresistible Jenny in his life, and his bed, he may never want to leave…

Drunk Overview: Have you ever read a book that you knew you would hate 10 pages in and then realize that you needed to annotate how bad it was to send to a friend so they would understand your pain… That’s this book! Basic premise: Jenny (or as our lead guy calls her “Little female”) and Jake (or as our heroine calls him “an actual honest-to-god big city-metrosexual” meet because he’s decided to check in on the 13 year old son he abandoned at infancy. Jenny was a surrogate big sister to said kid and ends up taking care of him when the kids grandparents die. And yeah. Apparently love happens.

Drunk Thoughts: Our heroine isn’t particularly likeable, that’s more than I can say about the hero.

• To start with this book came out in 2012 – hence the metrosexual talk (which I’m pretty sure we left in 2002?)
• But there are so many things about this book that still feel confusing (the use of faxes, the fact that people seem to forget about cell phones – I know I was pretty attached to mine in 2012 even if it wasn’t a smartphone, and so much of the langauge).
• I feel like Jake can be summed up as “a feminist only through the lens of 2012.” and unfortunately for this book a lot has changed since then.
• Like hypermasculinity feeling more like someone is trying to cover up their insecurities
• Like refusing to stop looking at someone half nude after they ask – and claiming it’s “guy code” to not stop looking at a half-naked woman
• Basically Jake is just a creep
• But also the plot of this book doesn’t make sense
• Jake is a photograper for “National Explorer” aka Nat Geo and travels most of the year. (like 9months out of the year) in what world would he be the best guardian for a teenager.
• And yet, Jenny doesn’t even think about contesting this. (dumb)
• This book constantly talks about Jenny standing up for herself, but by my count the first time that happened was around page `150!
• she’s basically a doormat
• Every time she gets (rightfully) angry about the way Jake acts, she immediately gets over it
• Don’t even get me started on Jenny’s best friend Tasha.
• Tasha is all about Jenny getting laid, but from the beginning is like “the asshole who is trying to take the kid away from you is definitely the best one night stand”
• THERE COULDN’T BE A WORSE FLING
• At the point where there’s an emotional blow up, it actually felt out of character for Jake, who has been so laissez-faire about everything that him showing strong emotions about anything doesn’t feel realistic.
• Okay, so clearly the plot isn’t strong, maybe the writing is?
• No
• First off,t his book focuses way too much on teh 13 year old boy and his friends even thought his book was written by someone who hadn’t interacted with a teen in years (I assume). So instead, the conversations between kids usually involved sexist stereotyping, the attempt at using slang that just feels cringey, and reactions that wouldn’t make sense for a teenager?
• On top of that, this book uses the weirdest terminology in basically any situation. I was more disgusted by the sex scenes than anything else. at one point, he “abrades the impudent point” of her nipple. Like… there are so many better ways to say that without breaking out a thesaurus. The counsellor in 10 things I hate about you wrote better than this.
• There is occasionally fun banter in this book but it’s entirely ruined by the fact taht the main characters feel more like dolls the author is moving around than fully fleshed out people, and, you know, the rest of the book.
• Time to talk about setting. This book takes place on a small town in the middle of nowhere important.
• Somehow everyone knows each other, yet, in multiple places in this book, people rely on Jake the stranger instead of the neighbors/bosses of many years.
• Also somehow everyon cares about A MIDDLE SCHOOL BASEBALL GAME?
• It basically feels like nothing exists outside of where the main characters are in those moments.
• Like the world itself is a matrix-esque thing that flickers on for Jake and Jenny when they need it but disappears so that no one changes in the meantime.
• Also their economy doesn’t make sense to me. I’m not going to get into it, but it really doesn’t sounds like businesses exist in this town.
• Maybe I’ve just been lucky with my romance reads recently, but oof this one was hard to get through.
• The only redeeming thing about this book was that it was bad enough that I had snarky comments on most of the pages. I hope my friends enjoy my increasing anger about this book when they read my notes…

What it Pairs With: a virgin vodka red bull, except the red bull is decaf. It doesn’t get you anywhere.

Rating: 1/5