Top 5 Wednesday: Fictional DUMB RELATIONSHIPS

Hey Boozers!

Top 5 Wednesday is a meme moderated by Sam from Thoughts on Tomes!

Who is excited for my first official sober post on this site? Hopefully the answer is a resounding, “Some of You!!!”

I’m going to write about some of the (numerous) fictional couples I’d like to break up. (Editor’s Note: not 5… but I’ll allow it – Sam)

  1. Most of the relationships in Spinning Silver. I enjoyed this book, but dear god were the romantic relationships uncomfortable.  In both cases the men are basically monsters (and I mean like demon, not just evil) and the romance comes out of nowhere with no real background.  The women were complete badasses in their own way and it made the relationships not make sense.
  2. A Conjuring of Light by V.E. Schwab (IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THE FULL SERIES, PLEASE SKIP THIS ENTRY): This is a relationship that was carefully developed over three books. The first book was all about Delilah Bard learning to trust Kel.  The second book was about Delilah learning to trust herself and her abilities, the third book suddenly took this incredibly strong relationship between two characters that was mutually respectful and added in unnecessary romance.  It was even more obvious how forced this was compared to the relationship between Kel’s brother and his romantic partner.  That relationship was full of chemistry.  Kel and Bard felt like platonic friends trying to make out and just not quite feeling it, but not seeing a better option.
  3. Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas: Celaena and Prince Dorian appear to be drawn to each other from the very beginning, except the dynamic never quite fit for me. There was a certain amount of both characters putting each other on a pedestal that never sat well.  And look, I love a good romance novel.  I’m a big fan of mutual pining, but there’s a difference between thinking someone is perfect, and thinking someone is so unattainable that you become more self-doubting. (Editor’s Note: welp… do I have some NEWS for you…-Sam)
  4. The Goldfinch: It’s been years since I read this book but I still find myself irritated with any of the women who seemed interested in this mealy asshole of a man.
  5. Looking back to number three, I’ve read a lot of the free romance novels from Amazon and boy can I tell you that there are a number of people who really enjoy toxic masculinity/regressive ideas of what women are about. I’m not going to bother naming them but if anyone wants some hate reads BOY DO I HAVE OPTIONS
  6. The Fucking Book Doctor. So, I read this book and I reviewed this book, and I don’t think the review is out yet.  So just imagine me shouting expletives…
  7. This is at least partially for Sam – A number of Harry Potter relationships. Maybe it’s just me, but there’s something about the assumption that every high school sweetheart is going to be your forever person that I didn’t enjoy.  Don’t get me wrong, I can understand some of the relationships; but it seems weird that literally everyone ended up with a schoolmate.  I would have expected at least a few people would have ended up with muggleborns or maybe even an American or someone from Beaubatons.  Apparently Harry Potter is set up in a place where no one ever moves.  Even more than that, relationships made during a war don’t always last… I’m not going to point out specific relationships, mostly because I know Harry Potter fans are passionate (I have strong opinions, I get it) and I don’t want to get in the middle of a 14 year old argument.

So as some general notes, I love relationships that feel organic, forced relationships never really fit well (I’m looking at you YA fiction who back in the day decided that every book needed a love triangle).  Looking at point three, I feel the need to defend romance novels; there are so many books coming out with interesting premises, and healthy relationships.

Let me know if you disagree, or if I missed something obvious.

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